Friday, June 30, 2006

The Non-CompetiMommies

Today's earlier post was sort of incomplete, because I didn't write about how lucky I feel to know some terrific non-competimommies. After Q went to sleep tonight, SwingDaddy and I got to catch on the news and blog.

I've been blessed with an extraordinary Mommy Group that I joined when Q was not quite three weeks old. It started as a parenting class at the local hospital, and we kept in touch afterwards online and with weekly gatherings.

The first time I went to class, I was so nervous! It was the first time I had taken Q out of the house by myself, the first time I put him in the car seat, got the stroller assembled, got the car seat attached to the stroller. The first time I changed a diaper away from home, the first time I fed him away from home. It seemed like an insurmountable challenge for a new mother, but I made it! A lot of firsts, all in a warm and welcome environment.

When I went back to work 11 weeks postpartum and SwingDaddy became a full time dad for more than half a year, the other moms welcomed him to the weekly get-togethers. I am so grateful for that, since many stay-at-home dads don't get the social support that moms have.

Among all the moms, we've made many different parenting choices. Some moms work, others are at home full time. Some rock their babies to sleep, others do CIO. Cloth diapers, disposables. Gerber baby foods, organic homemade. Most babies are already weaned, but several moms are still nursing (Wow, way to go!). As I've read more blogs, I've learned how rare it is to have fallen into such a supportive group. No one is a CompetiMommy!

One of the most unexpected and reassuring aspects to regularly seeing a dozen babies of the same age was to compare them. No, not in an icky one-upmanship way, but in an informational way. What became obvious really quickly is that children are incredibly different in their development. Books may tell you that, but it can be hard to believe it until you see it.

One child might have 12 teeth and another have only one. One girl was already walking, when most were just working on crawling. Q is the youngest of the babies, so we got a sneak preview of what was coming next for us, and much of the "oh no, he's not {doing x} yet, what do we do?" thoughts really went out of my head. He'd learn it when he was ready.

And now I have to say an anti-jinx so that I don't ruin the whole thing!


Mom101 said...

You won't ruin it. You've got twelve months behind you that says differently. This is a great experience - thanks for showing us the good side of mom friends.

landismom said...

Just surfed in to say thanks for commenting on my blog. You're definitely lucky to have found such a supportive group!